Lightning

I was awakened early this morning (I can only assume it was by the thunder, but I seldom wake up to such noises). It was about 4:00 and I instantly knew that I had heard thunder and then I saw lightning through the window. I hopped out of bed; no, I wasn't frightened, but I had the sudden image of my daddy, standing at the front windows, watching the storm. I quickly walked out of my bedroom, but of course, he wasn't there. I was in my apartment, and everyone else was sound asleep. Somehow, I didn't feel sleepy though, so I took up Dad's vigil next to the sliding glass door.

That's one of the clearest memories I have of my childhood -- Dad standing at the window, watching the rain and the lightning of a midnight Houston thunderstorm. The storm last night started me thinking about him, and I have continued all day. Maybe I'll write him an email. It's always nice to hear from people you love. Yea, I have some things I've been meaning to tell him, I think I'll do it.

All this thinking about Dad today has left me wondering, what will my posterity remember about me? What scenes will pop unbidden into my children's heads at the least-expected moment? I don't have any kids yet; I'm not even married. Still, the thought has plagued me, so I think I'll digest it a little here.

Who am I? Well, I know my name, I know plenty of things about me, but do I really know who I am -- the answer to that is at present a resounding "no." That doesn't mean I've given it up as a lost cause, though. I've heard since I was born that I am a child of God. Perhaps it has become too cliche and has thus lost its significance to me, but I don't think so. I've just forgotten the beauty and purity of this simple idea. I know, however, that I feel most "found" when I pray, if that makes any sense. Most of the time I am lost, but I know that when I am on my knees in sincere, humble prayer, I FEEL who I am, even if I don't know it. If I could have any image engraven upon the minds of those who know me, I hope it would be of me on my knees in prayer. I'm not nearly as prayerful as I should be, but something within my soul just hungers to speak with a loving Father in Heaven. Perhaps it's trying to remind me who I am.

Yes, I think that was the purpose of my waking in the wee hours of the morning to witness the wonder and awe of the thunderstorm. I thought this post was going to be a lot longer, with lots of trying-to-be profound thoughts circling through my mind. But I think the answer is much simpler. I suppose that's why the Lord continually counsels us to ponder -- stop and think about life and the words of His chosen servants. We see things much more clearly that way. The lesson for me today is simple, really, just pray. Just do it. "Prayer is the soul's sincere desire." I think this is one of the sweetest reminders I have ever received.