Finding myself
I just read the most awful play for my Spanish class. This is a spoiler warning for anyone planning to read La Dama del Alba, don't read this post because it gives away the ending. Basically, the irony in the play was amazing; that's the only positive comment I have for it though. Quick summary follows:
There is a family in Spain, mother grandfather, three young kids, Telva (the life-long family servant who lives with them), and the son-in-law (Martin). Martin was married to Angelica, the oldest daughter who was perfect in every way; she was beautiful, she was great with the kids, she was kind to all the neighbors, everyone loved her. She supposedly drowned in the river four years ago. Actually, though, she ran oiff with another man three days after marrying Martin. He knew where she was and chased her, but was unsuccessful. He allowed everyone to think that she had drowned basically because he loved her and didn't want her name tarnished. On the fourth anniversary of her death, the Peregrina (lady who represents death) appears at the family's house, but no one dies. Instead, Martin rescues a random girl (Adela) from drowning in the river. Adela was actually trying to kill herself and was a little miffed that she was rescued, but the family opens their arms to her and she starts to find a little happiness. The Peregrina leaves, telling the grandfather that she will return in seven months and then she will claim the girl.
Seven months later, Adela has basically morphed into Angelica. The mother is supposedly happy again and continually encourages Adela to be more like her daughter. Adela is now part of the family. Martin even confesses his love. The Peregrina returns; the grandfather begs her to spare Adela, but the Peregrina insists that she will not leave alone. Martin finally admits the truth about Angelica to Adela within hearing of the Peregrina. Peregrina seems to understand something. Later, Adela attempts again to take her life because of the mess that she is in trying to be Angelica, but the Peregrina stops her (odd, that the figure of death would stop her from dying, but ok). Peregrina tells the grandfather that she will allow Adela to grow old, saying there is another for whom she has come.
The family all leave to go to a festival, and while they are gone, Angelica returns. She is the picture of the prodigal son. Her life is in shambles and all she wants is a warm corner of the house. The Peregrina greets her and tells her the family had gone. She then proceeds to detail the changes that have happened and tells Angelica that she has lost her place. The family all love Adela, and it would be better for everyone if Angelica were actually dead. Since she is not, the Peregrina has a solution: jump in the river. The Peregrina then has about four or five pages telling Angelica why she should kill herself, and convincing her that there is no returning and no forgiveness for her wrongdoings. Angelica then jumps in the river and her body is found in the morning. End of story. I hated it.
After finishing the play last night I felt horrible. I was so depressed and disgusted and everything else, but I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I decided that I must learn something; I must find an important message in this dreadful story to ease my mind a little. Here is what I have come up with. First of all, the Peregrina was wrong, entirely wrong, in telling Angelica that everyone would be better off if she took her life. That's just wrong. That was the most disturbing part of the play, her convincing Angelica that suicide was a good option. It's not. I couldn't really come up with a good lesson to be had from that, but the more I thought about Angelica, the more I realized how sad her life really was.
Angelica lived for everyone else. This isn't always necessarily bad; we should love and serve others, and it is possible to truly find happiness in the happiness and comfort of others. But this can't be accomplished until we know who we are individually. I think Angelica didn't know who Angelica was. She was everything to everyone but herself. I think occasionally I start down the path of Angelica's disease, I identify with her, so I'd like to make a conection to myself and see how this applies to my life.
I've often heard it said that you can't lift a man until you are standing on higher ground than he is. I think this is applicable in this instance. It's not selfish to spend time alone, nurturing your own identity. As much as I might like to think otherwise, I am replaceable. If I leave, another will fill my spot; if I fall down on my duties, another can do my work. When Angelica disappeared, the family was devastated, but the role she played was filled by another. Adela could never be Angelica, but she could easily do what Angelica did, she could play the part. The one person for whom Adela could never be Angelica was only Angelica. That's terrifying for me to think about, but I've seen it first-hand time and time again. If you're not your own best friend, you have no real friends. Everyone else can find someone else to accomplish the tasks that I do, but noone can be me for me. Maybe that doesn't make sense. Let me try again.
Angelica's life was built around her family and other people. When she returned at the end of the play and learned that another had taken her place in the family, she was understandably devasted; anyone would be. Angelica's situation was delicate, however, because she was her place in the family. Without her duties as daughter, sister, wife, friend, and neighbor, she had nothing; she was nothing. The Peregrina was able to convince Angelica to take her life because Angelica had no life other than outside her, what she did for other people. If Angelica had been something to herself there would have been two differences. 1. She would not have been fooled by the Peregrina because she would have had a life besides what Adela had taken from her. She would have had something to build on instead of trying to step back into her old role (which had been filled by someone new). 2. She would have been slightly more irreplaceable. Someone who is confident in werfself and has a strong friendship with werfself fills a role that cannot be filled by anyone else. That confidence carries over into all aspects of life and makes a person more fun to be around, more irreplaceable. If the substance of you is what you do, then anyone can become you, that is, do what you did. However, if you have taken time to develop your personality and distinguish yourself, you are something noone else can be. That is the difference, love yourself. Take time for you. And then you will be happier personally and will be a much more effective servant of God.
There is a family in Spain, mother grandfather, three young kids, Telva (the life-long family servant who lives with them), and the son-in-law (Martin). Martin was married to Angelica, the oldest daughter who was perfect in every way; she was beautiful, she was great with the kids, she was kind to all the neighbors, everyone loved her. She supposedly drowned in the river four years ago. Actually, though, she ran oiff with another man three days after marrying Martin. He knew where she was and chased her, but was unsuccessful. He allowed everyone to think that she had drowned basically because he loved her and didn't want her name tarnished. On the fourth anniversary of her death, the Peregrina (lady who represents death) appears at the family's house, but no one dies. Instead, Martin rescues a random girl (Adela) from drowning in the river. Adela was actually trying to kill herself and was a little miffed that she was rescued, but the family opens their arms to her and she starts to find a little happiness. The Peregrina leaves, telling the grandfather that she will return in seven months and then she will claim the girl.
Seven months later, Adela has basically morphed into Angelica. The mother is supposedly happy again and continually encourages Adela to be more like her daughter. Adela is now part of the family. Martin even confesses his love. The Peregrina returns; the grandfather begs her to spare Adela, but the Peregrina insists that she will not leave alone. Martin finally admits the truth about Angelica to Adela within hearing of the Peregrina. Peregrina seems to understand something. Later, Adela attempts again to take her life because of the mess that she is in trying to be Angelica, but the Peregrina stops her (odd, that the figure of death would stop her from dying, but ok). Peregrina tells the grandfather that she will allow Adela to grow old, saying there is another for whom she has come.
The family all leave to go to a festival, and while they are gone, Angelica returns. She is the picture of the prodigal son. Her life is in shambles and all she wants is a warm corner of the house. The Peregrina greets her and tells her the family had gone. She then proceeds to detail the changes that have happened and tells Angelica that she has lost her place. The family all love Adela, and it would be better for everyone if Angelica were actually dead. Since she is not, the Peregrina has a solution: jump in the river. The Peregrina then has about four or five pages telling Angelica why she should kill herself, and convincing her that there is no returning and no forgiveness for her wrongdoings. Angelica then jumps in the river and her body is found in the morning. End of story. I hated it.
After finishing the play last night I felt horrible. I was so depressed and disgusted and everything else, but I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I decided that I must learn something; I must find an important message in this dreadful story to ease my mind a little. Here is what I have come up with. First of all, the Peregrina was wrong, entirely wrong, in telling Angelica that everyone would be better off if she took her life. That's just wrong. That was the most disturbing part of the play, her convincing Angelica that suicide was a good option. It's not. I couldn't really come up with a good lesson to be had from that, but the more I thought about Angelica, the more I realized how sad her life really was.
Angelica lived for everyone else. This isn't always necessarily bad; we should love and serve others, and it is possible to truly find happiness in the happiness and comfort of others. But this can't be accomplished until we know who we are individually. I think Angelica didn't know who Angelica was. She was everything to everyone but herself. I think occasionally I start down the path of Angelica's disease, I identify with her, so I'd like to make a conection to myself and see how this applies to my life.
I've often heard it said that you can't lift a man until you are standing on higher ground than he is. I think this is applicable in this instance. It's not selfish to spend time alone, nurturing your own identity. As much as I might like to think otherwise, I am replaceable. If I leave, another will fill my spot; if I fall down on my duties, another can do my work. When Angelica disappeared, the family was devastated, but the role she played was filled by another. Adela could never be Angelica, but she could easily do what Angelica did, she could play the part. The one person for whom Adela could never be Angelica was only Angelica. That's terrifying for me to think about, but I've seen it first-hand time and time again. If you're not your own best friend, you have no real friends. Everyone else can find someone else to accomplish the tasks that I do, but noone can be me for me. Maybe that doesn't make sense. Let me try again.
Angelica's life was built around her family and other people. When she returned at the end of the play and learned that another had taken her place in the family, she was understandably devasted; anyone would be. Angelica's situation was delicate, however, because she was her place in the family. Without her duties as daughter, sister, wife, friend, and neighbor, she had nothing; she was nothing. The Peregrina was able to convince Angelica to take her life because Angelica had no life other than outside her, what she did for other people. If Angelica had been something to herself there would have been two differences. 1. She would not have been fooled by the Peregrina because she would have had a life besides what Adela had taken from her. She would have had something to build on instead of trying to step back into her old role (which had been filled by someone new). 2. She would have been slightly more irreplaceable. Someone who is confident in werfself and has a strong friendship with werfself fills a role that cannot be filled by anyone else. That confidence carries over into all aspects of life and makes a person more fun to be around, more irreplaceable. If the substance of you is what you do, then anyone can become you, that is, do what you did. However, if you have taken time to develop your personality and distinguish yourself, you are something noone else can be. That is the difference, love yourself. Take time for you. And then you will be happier personally and will be a much more effective servant of God.
posted by Chicken Dust at 5:18 PM
1 Comments:
that is an interesting story and i think you took a lot of good things out of it. good job. i suppose that was one of my worries as well when i wasnt spending time with my roommates. i could and easily would be replaced should the need arise for them.
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