All the Difference

"I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn, and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return. Well I don't know if I believe that's true, but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you...So much of me is made of what I learned from you; you'll be with me, like a handprint on my heart. And now whatever way our stories end, know you have rewritten mine by being my friend...Like a commet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun, like a stream that meets a boulder, halfway through the wood, who can say if I've been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I have been changed for good." (From the Broadway musical, Wicked)

This post is about attitudes. So many people teach that we are who we are because of our circumstances. I don't believe it. Robert Frost wrote:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
OhI kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diveged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
(The Road Not Taken)

We make choices, each of us, that determine the path we will walk in this life. For some choices, there is a right and a wrong. To choose something that is contrary to the commandments of God would be wrong, whatever that choice entails. (For example, while there may not be a specific occupation that is right, to earn one's living through immoral or unethical means would be wrong. Similarly, whether or not to attend a certain party tonight may not be of eternal consequence unless it involves actions prohibited by the Lord.) Still, as Elder Oaks has taught, "The Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts--what we have done. It is an acknowledgement of the final effect of our acts and thoughts--what we have become.” (“The Challenge to Become,” Liahona, Jan. 2001, 40)

Our choices lead us down paths (which way leads on to way, such that we seldom return); the paths we choose today do "make all the difference", but whether that difference is a positive or negative one is up to us. I decide what I will become! A scriptural example from Alma 62:41:
"But behold, because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened becasued of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility." When I discovered this scripture some years ago, I wrote in the margin, "The trial itself is of little intrinsic value -> our ATTITUDE spurs growth" and cross-referenced Alma 32:14, which reads, "And now, as I said unto you that because ye were compelled to be humble ye were blessed, do ye not suppose that they are more blessed who truly humble themselves because of the word?"

I must admit, I have never appreciated being compelled to be humble. I'll admit, life is tough. And making the most of the experience we have here in mortality is what helps us to become what our Heavenly Father wants us to become. But I've never relished adversity, I've never prayed for a trial to gain humility. Maybe I'm just scared, but I take comfort from Alma's teaching that it is not necessary to be compelled to be humble. I pray that I may truly "humble [myself] because of the word." I hope this way to become humble without losing my enthusiasm. I want to be able to sing and shout, as the hymn says, and really SHOUT, not mumble as if it was a funeral procession, but sing with gusto the anthems of the Restoration.

But back to the original theme of my post. I have made choices throughout my life, a few of which I regret, and some of which I often wonder what would have happened had I chosen a different path. As I contemplate my life, however, I realize that "I'm who I am today because I knew the you" (you referring to both people and experiences in my life). I wouldn't trade the people I know for those I don't. I wouldn't trade the experiences I have had for those that I haven't. I wonder, what if I had chosen the other path? Yes, it would have made all the difference, I would have met different people, I would have known different things, and chances are I would have developed slighlty differently, but no matter. My choices detemine my circumstances, but my attitude determines if those differences be for the better or worse. I have my eye on Eternal Life. Thus, who I become would not change no matter where I lived or whom I met.