Elder Oaks Said:

Remember there’s a Heavenly Father there, and when we do what He has asked us to do, He will bless us. Let’s not deny Him the opportunity to fulfill His promises by taking it all upon us as if we had to do it all by ourselves.

"He is the God of Light"

I was moved on Thursday by these words: "And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night ... And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth" (Genesis 1:16-17). It struck me that God did not create the darkness for the night. As John so beautifully states, "God is light, and in him is no darkness at all" (1 John 1:5). God is LIGHT, and only light. He made the light to rule over day and to rule over night. Sometimes it seems to me that the darkness of night is overpowering. I find it easy to lose hope in times of comparative darkness. As night is comparatively dark to day, so too are some days of my life comparatively dark to other days.

Yet God did not create the light for the day and leave the night to be darkness. Light always rules. Though I may choose to hide my face and close my eyes and by so doing be swallowed up by the darkness, the Light is always there -- always will be there. The question then begs to be asked: Does the light rule in my life? In the over-arching scheme of eternity, Light rules supreme. In my personal life, does the Light rule supreme? I believe it does (more on this to come). This gives me hope. And JOY.

"And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full. This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all ... But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin" (1 John 1:4-5,7).

Apology

I realize that my previous apology was far too business-like. Perhaps I should be more frank. Anonymous, your comment stung. I spent far too long trying not to cry, and then a fair amount of time giving in to the urge. I got on my knees, and I talked with the Lord about it. I think it hurt so much because you are right. The truth of your statement stands; a little humility really does go a long way. And whether you meant to imply it or not, the fact remains that I could really use a LOT of humility. I am sorry. I am sorry for my arrogance in my zeal. I truly am sorry.

I did a little studying tonight about humility. Heavenly Father told me that He loves me, despite my flaws, and He nudged me gently to take a lesson from the way this truth cut me to the core. So I read a few talks and studied some scriptures. I've got a long way to go. This by John Ruskin touched me: 

"The first test of a truly great man is his humility ... I do not mean, by humility, doubt of his own power ... [But really] great men have a curious ... feeling that ... greatness is not IN them, but THROUGH them ... And they see something Divine ... in every other man ..., and are endlessly, foolishly, incredibly merciful" (quoted by Elder Marlin K Jensen in May 2001 General Conference).

So my goal is to see more in others. To obliterate pride in my heart by ignoring the urge to compete with others. To think less of myself, to think more of God, and to love all around me as He loves them. That kind of love is not easy for me, but I know I need to learn it. Thank you, Anonymous for reminding me of my need for constant repentance. Thank you, Father for allowing me the opportunity to receive mercy. Thank you, my Savior for making this change possible through Thy grace. How marvelous a gift is repentance!

Onward, EVER Onward

This Sunday I was in my parents' ward for church. We talked about missionary work in Relief Society, which was a bit of a different experience for me because about half the sisters in my student ward are returned missionaries (recently of course) and only a small handful of sisters in my mom's Relief Society are returned missionaries, and several of those are returned from serving as seniors (which I love, by the way). They might have gotten a little more than they bargained for with me there.

I love missionary work! I can think of several reasons for this, principally revolving around the fact the I spent more than a year of my recent past engaged full-time in spreading the glorious news of the Restoration of the fulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I felt when I returned that I had been somehow "cheated" out of the best months of my life, but I see now that Heavenly Father never let me feel fully released. Perhaps had I stayed in the field for three more months I would have walked away and felt that my mission was over. As it stands, I feel that I am perpetually on a mission, and I cannot be still.

During the first four months of my return to Provo and "civilian life," I had four major missionary opportunities. In PROVO, UTAH no less! And the opportunities to bear testimony and preach the Gospel keep coming. Heavenly Father knows how I love it, and I thank Him every day for the blessing of opening my mouth. In Preach My Gospel, the First Presidency stated, "There is no more compelling work than this, nor any which brings greater satisfaction ... More happiness awaits you than you have ever experienced as you labor among His children."

I bear testimony that is true.

Joseph Smith said, " What if all the world should embrace this Gospel? They would then see eye to eye, and the blessings of God would be poured out upon the people, which is the desire of my whole soul.” It caused me to think of D&C 109:59 where the Prophet prayed at the dedication of the Kirtland Temple that the gathering of the Lord's people would roll forth that His work may be "cut short in righteousness." I love that! How many of us have wished that the Millenium would just come so everyone would get along. Well, we've got to get on it! The world must be prepared to be presented to the Savior when He comes. Hurray!

So I must press onward, ever onward. There is no end to anyone's mission. Certainly for my testimony I am grateful, and the opportunity to open my mouth is an incomparable blessing. Thanks and glory be to my Father in Heaven!

D&C 4:2

"The Lord designs to lead us to a wider field of action...We are not our own, we are bought with a price, we are the Lord's...If my heart is not fully given up to this work, I will give my time, my talents, my hands, and my possessions, until my heart consents to be subject; I will make my hands labour in the cause of God, until my heart bows in submission to it."

--Brigham Young, HC 7:464

My Soul's Sincere Desire

I was reading the other night the April 2008 General Conference talk by Elder Robert D. Hales, Gaining a Testimony of God the Father; His Son, Jesus Christ; and the Holy Ghost. Such excellent words! The truth about my Father in Heaven and my relationship to Him is something I am just now beginning to appreciate. Prayer is an important part of my life. I do not always know why or how, yet my urgent need to commune with my Father drives me to my knees often throughout each day.

I read and pondered these words: “I know with surety that our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live. The Atonement is real. God the Father and Jesus Christ are distinct, separate, immortal beings. They know us as individuals, and They hear and answer our sincere prayers.” I had never before thought of my prayers being heard by THEM. Generally I think just of HE. So I asked my roommate, Tammy what she thought of the phrase. Her first words were that she didn’t really have a grasp on the Savior’s role in her prayers. I felt the same.

We talked a bit more and some things she said about praying in the name of Jesus Christ touched me. What really does it mean to pray in the name of Jesus Christ? The Bible Dictionary offers this enlightenment: “We pray in Christ’s name when our mind is the mind of Christ, and our wishes the wishes of Christ--when his words abide in us.”

I had a sudden image of the Savior kneeling in the Garden of Gethsemane pleading in agony and love with His very Father, whom He knew and who had perfect confidence in Him. I saw also the Risen Lord on His knees among the more righteous Nephites praying for their peace and using words that are “not lawful to be written.” Surely there is no doubt the Father hears and answers the Savior’s prayers in the affirmative. Certainly His prayers yield peace and hope and healing.

And then I saw me. On my knees. I saw when I truly pray in the name of Christ, He is there, arms linked in mine, pleading with the Father, with me. When we together approach the God of Heaven and Earth, no prayer will go unanswered (Mormon 9:21).

I tried it that night. I pictured my Savior on His knees next to me as I spoke with my Father, His Father. We expressed gratitude for the Father’s goodness and mercy. We sought blessings for many of my loved ones who have needs and desires. And we begged Heavenly Father to sustain me and teach me to do His will. There was power in such a prayer.

Yesterday brought a test of this new method of communing with my God. Someone I love very much had an urgent and sincere need. I fled to my room to be in secret and address the Lord. I spoke most fervently of the love that I have for this sweet sister and her family, and I expressed gratitude for the privilege of seeing Heavenly Father bless their lives. I told Him of her need. I looked to my Savior for support, and He joined me in prayer. We explained the goodness of this woman and together told Heavenly Father that we loved her and wanted only the best. I explained her situation and why I wanted her desire to be granted, but before I could ask with boldness, I looked to my companion in prayer. He silently shook His head. No, it was not right. Something, I don’t know whether it is the request or simply the timing of the request, was not in keeping with the Father’s plan. Trusting Jesus, I told Heavenly Father that I know His plan to be perfect, and completely outside my understanding. I didn’t know why His plan would not allow for the granting of this request, but my Savior and I could not ask amiss.

Here came a miracle. I cried a bit and wanted to desperately to help my dear friend. I asked Heavenly Father to give her peace and understanding. If only He would take some of my faith and my good works and bless her accordingly, I would rest. Looking to our Friend, my Savior, and her Savior, I saw that He too was crying. He was hurting, much more than I could understand. I realized that His prayer was the same, and His capacity to exercise faith and experience the weight of what she is called on to bear is much greater than mine. My vicarious sacrifice was small, but combined with His, I am certain she will feel the peace we sought for her.

And I witnessed a bit of my Savior’s love for me, and the Father’s compassion. I thank the Lord for the supernal gift of prayer.

“Oh thou, by whom we come to God,

The Life, the Truth, the Way,

The path of prayer Thyself hath trod.

Lord, teach us how to pray.” (Hymns #145)