Rock of Ages

Rock of Ages cleft for me, Let me hide myself in thee. Let the water and the blood, From thy wounded side which flowed, Be of sin the double cure, Save from wrath and make me pure.
Not the labors of my hands Can fill all thy life's demands. Could my zeal no respite know, Could my tears forever flow, All for sin could not atone; Thou must save, and thou alone.
When I draw this fleeting breath, When mine eyes shall close in death, When I rise to worlds unknown And behold thee on thy throne, Rock of Ages, cleft for me, Let me hide myself in thee.

I just discovered this hymn over the last week. I love it! the last line of the first verse really speaks of some great doctrine. There is more to the Atonement of Jesus Christ than forgiveness of sin, although that is a huge gift. Sometimes talked about is the capacity it gives Him to comfort us in our trials, but less discussed, but nonetheless vital, is the power to change; to make good men better. In my teachings of the living prophets class recently, one of the students made a beautiful comment about the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve. He noted that it was amazing to realize that they were just men, but they had learned to access the power of the Atonement in their lives to make them like unto the Savior.

Observe this same concept taught by King Benjamin in Mosiah 3:19, "For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord..." The gospel is to make bad men good and good men better. No matter how hard we try (note second verse), we can never perfect ourselves. Besides just paying the price and making restitution for our sins, we just don't have the ability to change our hearts to be pure as they should be. That requires grace, the enabling power of God. He grants us the ability to change, to become like Him.

Plus, I just really like this song and wanted to share it.

Nearer My God To Thee

Apparently I've been contemplating callings lately, because here's another post on that topic. I was wondering about why I get certain callings, and how it seems to be that I am never very qualified to do what I am asked. I mean, surely there are TONS of people who could do a much better job at these things. You'd think the Lord would not want to have to do all the work Himself, you know, and if HE would just pick someone who wasn't so stressed about it, He could relax a bit. I mean, with me, I make things doubly hard for Him because not only does He have to help me out in every way to accomplish the task, but then He has to patiently listen to me whine and stress about how difficult it is and how tired I am and yada yada. So I came to the conclusion that obviously, the Lord doesn't extend callings to me to help Him accomplish anything. His thought process might be a little more like this:

'So, Chicken Dust, we're a bit distant these days. Tell you what, how about I call you to serve in your ward. Let's say as visiting teaching coordinator. Now, you can't do this job. I know; that's why I'm giving it to you. See, you will stress and try to do your best (mostly just being counterproductive) and then I'll just have to clean up the mess that you made and do the job the way it should have been done in the first place. But that's okay, because I am perfect enough (that's an odd phrase?) that I can make things work the way they should through you. Pretty tricky. I can even cause that other people's lives will be blessed by you - as an instrument in My hands. Plus, in the process, you will learn a thing or two and your heart will become slightly more like mine. Basically, though, I'm giving this to you because I know that it will cause you to spend a lot of time on your knees trying to do it right. You'll become more humble. And I'll get to spend more time with you.'

I like that last line. It's not really doctrine, but I think it's really true. As much as we long to be like God to live with Him forever, I think He misses us even more. We are His children after all. Of course there is no selfish motives in anything He does, but I wonder if maybe we are commanded to pray not only for our benefit, but almost as much for Him. He likes to spend time with us.

I laughed out loud in the library

"There has been a catastrophic error. Please stand by."

Beware of this error sign on your computer. Does it amuse anyone else?

Loveliness

"Of all the creations of the Almighty, there is none more beautiful, none more inspiring, than a lovely daughter of God, who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so, who honors and respects her body as a thing sacred and divine, who cultivates her mind and constantly enlarges the horizon of her understanding, who nurtures her spirit with everlasting truth." -President Gordon B Hinckley

I love being a woman. I really do. Yes, we have our "moments" and there are certainly plenty of quirks in our hard drive, but despite the hormones and the girlish silliness, I love being a woman. Someday I hope to be a real lady. I know a few women that I would consider examples of the type of behavior and elegance that I hope to achieve. Each simply exudes grace and loveliness. She is confident in her abilities, but accepting of another's offerings; she carries herself with dignity and respect, never walking too quickly or speaking too loudly; she has a sense of humor within reason, but never laughs unseemly; she smiles quickly and often; she loves God, and somehow you can just tell; she accepts correction with gratitude, and gives it with love and patience; she prays; she is a disciplined scholar of things both secular and spiritual; she knows what covenants she has made and lives them to the fullest of her ability; she loves people, and they love her; she serves unendingly; she is kind; she knows that Jesus is the very Son of God, and testifies boldly of this knowledge; she awakens each morning with a song in her heart and prayer to God; with this prayer, she puts her hand in His hand and together, He and she make the world a place of beauty.

"In the process of educating your minds, stir within yourselves a greater sensitivity to the beautiful, the artistic, and the cultivation of the talent you possess, be it large or small." -President Gordon B Hinckley (Read the whole talk here , I heartily suggest it.)

Magnified

I cannot remember names to save me. I've been in my ward for two months now and still have barely learned the names of the people in my FHE group. (Actually, that's an exaggeration. The other day I talked to someone who was in my group and I had no idea who he was, let alone his name.) I know; I am terrible. I really try though, I promise, but to no avail. I have always been this way; names and I just don't mix. I was lamenting this weakness on my walk home from school yesterday and thinking if perhaps I prayed really hard or visited every apartment twice a day, I might possibly learn some people's names, but after the following observation, I determined that such would be a waste if time.

At the start of last year, I determined to change my anti-social habits and actually meet people. I felt a strong prompting to get to know the others in my ward (especially the girls) to prepare myself for some specific service. So I complied. I prayed for courage (and TONS of help in remembering people) and went to the work of memorizing everyone's names, faces, and any other information about them. AND IT WORKED! I was so amazed! Shortly after the start of the semester, I was called to be in the Relief Society presidency in my ward (not a surprise as I had felt that such a calling might be coming my way - the purpose for learning people's names). The other sisters in the presidency were so impressed that I knew everyone, where they lived, and often times specifics about their personal lives. I'm not saying this to brag, as will be seen, but it was a fact that I was well in touch with the girls in our ward. I loved serving in the Relief Society (I was incredibly inadequate to serve on my own strength and was overwhelmed a lot of the time, but I loved the blessing of serving none-the-less). Anyhow, time went on, and I made an effort to visit every apartment at least once each week. If I had an announcement to deliver, I NEVER just stuck it on the door, I always made sure to talk to at least one person in the apartment. I was shocked by my own ability to relate to the girls; I thought, "Wow, I really can be a social person if I want to be, people like me and I'm friendly. Odd. Plus, I remember their names, even more odd." Then I got released and moved to Orem for the summer. I didn't visit the apartments very often, even though I was in the ward, so I wasn't shocked that I didn't know anyone's names. I figured I'd do it again once fall started and I was back in with a ward.

So now here I am, and I'm failing miserably at the name thing (and pretty much everything about the friendliness thing). It's not for lack of trying either, I make it a point to personally talk to people when I deliver notices, I sit next to someone different every week at church. I ask EVERYONE for their names, and I scour the ward picture directory over meals. And yet, the names just aren't coming. I don't get it. Or I didn't. Then one day it hit me: AHA! I'm no good at names; I never have been, and I probably never will be. So how did I do it last year? You can probable guess the answer to that question on your own.

But just in case you haven't figured it out by now, the moral of this story is, as we do our part to magnify the callings we are given, the Lord will magnify US within the realm of our responsibilities. It was my calling then; it's not now, so I don't get the help because it's not necessary. I get plenty of help and blessings in other areas, but that was a specific blessing for a specific time, and that time is now up. "Whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies."

Fill Our Hearts With Sweet Forgiving

This post was encouraged by an editorial in the campus newspaper today. Regarding the recent conviction of Jennete Killpack, the editors stated: "We cheer, for justice has finally come for Cassandra." I cried. Yes, I cried when I read that, and here's why.

How can we cheer at such devastation? I thought this out really well as I walked home from work today, but by now my thoughts are again scattered, so bear with me. Again, how can we cheer - when men claim for themselves the duty that the Lord has repeatedly declared to be his alone to discharge. Note the following from Mormon 3:15: "Vengeance is mine, and I will repay." We have judged, and we have done so unrighteously. Now, before I mislead anyone and receive a slew of hateful comments about how those guilty of crimes should be subject to punishment, and parents must punish their children, and governments must make countries safe, etc, let me clarify. Yes, indeed, governments, parents, teachers, and others in positions of authority of necessity must at times exact punishment. The purpose of this should be two-fold, however. First, especially in the case of parents and occasionally teachers (and church disciplinary councils), the point of punishment should be to teach or correct. This must be done very carefully in compliance with the following mandate from the Lord: "No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;" (D&C 121:41-43). Such punishments should be applicable to the wrongdoing and aimed at prevention rather than "exacting justice". Secondly, governments and other authorities must at times try and punish (or remove from society) certain individuals who pose a threat to the safety of others. Again this is NOT to be done in the name of pure justice. Those determining the punishment must be a judicious as possible but the point I wish to make is that true justice cannot be achieved in this life by men. We simply cannot judge perfectly because we do not see perfectly; this is why we have been repeatedly advised to "judge not." In the referenced case, it is imperative that we prevent innocent children from being abused, but the editors of this opinion and so many others in our society have judged the very person involved. They stepped beyond the bonds of reasonable judgment to protect ourselves and others to degrading talk about one of our Heavenly Father's children. This is inappropriate. Safety must be preserved and children must be taught to be responsible citizens, but judgment and justice belong to God and God alone.

How can we cheer at such a tragedy? I do not imagine the day the Lucifer was cast off forever to become the devil, the father of all lies, was a day of even the remotest rejoicing. This brilliant son of the Eternal Father who had made such horrible choices and wrecked so much havoc among the children of the Father, leading many to eternal misery was punished, and rightly so. In this case, true justice was exacted (as it was so done by God, the True Judge), but it was not a day for cheering. It never has been a day for cheering when a child of God has strayed and must of necessity be cut off. These are days of mourning, introspection, and learning-days to review how we could be better personally and how we can help prevent such future tragedies. For those who cheer at such events, I shed a few extra tears. I rejoice in Christ in the Atonement and the opportunity for change. When such days of punishment lead to a bettering of one's life and a return to the ways of God, that is the time to cheer. "Mercy, with its sister virtues of repentance and forgiveness" is something to cheer about! (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland)

The editorial page always contains the obligatory disclaimer that while published by a church school, the paper does not represent the views of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Thank goodness. It would be a sad day indeed when a church that professes to be lead by a living prophet, seer, and revelator can hear his words so distinctly and then turn so far from his counsel less than two days after it was given. President Gordon B. Hinckley spoke on October 2 in a world-wide conference about the virtue of forgiveness. He said, "I wish today to speak of forgiveness. I think it may be the greatest virtue on earth, and certainly the most needed. There is so much of meanness and abuse, of intolerance and hatred. There is so great a need for repentance and forgiveness. It is the great principle emphasized in all of scripture, both ancient and modern." The Lord declared that it was required of us to forgive ALL men. We are not to be the judge of who deserves our love and forgiveness; that duty belongs to Christ, the "Eternal Judge of both quick and dead", we must extend a helping hand of fellowship, not a cold shoulder, and certainly never hatred or spite.

The editorial claims to cheer because, "justice has come for Cassandra." This is not so. The little girl who was abused and murdered will never receive justice at the hands of men, just as her perpetrators cannot. The courts cannot give her back her life, her childhood, her innocence. There is no justice for Cassandra in this life. Justice, and interestingly enough mercy, can ONLY come in and through Jesus Christ, the Savior and Redeemer of all mankind. He alone has born her griefs and carried her sorrows. He can heal the broken heart and fill the emptiness of despair with peace and hope. He can alone can restore one's innocence. Justice is not the work of man. Only God, who is perfectly just AND perfectly merciful can do what is needed for both perpetrator (often a victim in werf's own right) and victim. It is only when one holds both these qualities in perfect balance that either can be exacted perfectly.

In sum, in response to the thoughtless editorial and as a representation of my beliefs on the subject of justice, let it never be thought that I do not think Jenette Killpack or any other individual convicted of a crime should avoid conviction and punishment. And I am far from perfect at reserving personal judgment for the Lord. (Indeed, I have often had a great urge to march into the prison and cause serious pain to the man who created such devastation in the life of one I love very dearly. Yet I realize that these impulses, if acted upon, would be sorrow to my soul and cause me to distance myself from the Lord, as it would be a sin for me to carry them out.) It is necessary for hardened criminals to be locked up, away from others whom they could hurt. But vengeance belongs to the Lord. Avoid judging a person, and please, please, do not cheer for such a tragedy.

Werf

For those who are curious/confused:

"Werf is a BYU Independent Study colloquialism meaning he or she and him or her. Such a convenient word. Maybe if we can get it into print five times in the real world, we can get it into dictionaries. Let us all make that our goal. Until then, do not use it in any English paper that you wish to be taken seriously."

Note 01

A few random observations about my writing.

1- I am obsessed with hymns (we could just say music in general) and quote them constantly! Lots of times I just sort of quote them, so I know precisely the reference I am making, but it is so obscure that no one else would probably pick up on it. I apologize. If you ever see quotes around a random phrase that does not have a reference attached to it, it is quite possibly a quote from a song--most likely a hymn.

2-To qualify the last sentence in (1), I use scare quotes way too often. I know. It's not good grammar and it's probably really annoying to read. Sorry. Ignore them if they bother you.

3- Most of the time the things I post are very random and scattered. This isn't a dialogue of my life or a series of well-thought, revised essays. This is my stream of consciousness. Ever wonder what thoughts are spinning around inside my little brain? Here you have the answer. This is what I think about, so sorry, nope, I'm not going to edit until the cows come home. It's random and confusing, I know, thus is my life. These are my thoughts and I'm happy with them as they are.

4- Check out the 100 Hour Board (I have it linked). It's cool.

5- Read the Book of Mormon. It's even more cool.

Loving Ties

Matthew 11:28-30 "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Has anyone else ever wondered what the heck this means? I mean, it's nice and comforting; it's certainly quoted quite regularly, but no one ever bothers to define "my yoke". We were talking about this scripture in Relief Society a couple of months ago when this very difficulty was brought to my attention. I replied with a quick by-the-books answer at the moment, but was led to further study. My understanding of a possible definition has lead me to MUCH introspection and has been the basis of my study and ponderings since that enlightening day.

First things first, what is a yoke (in technical terms)? This from Miriam Webster online: Main Entry: yoke Etymology: Middle English yok, from Old English geoc; akin to Old High German joh yoke, Latin jugum, Greek zygon, Sanskrit yuga, Latin jungere to join 1 a : a wooden bar or frame by which two draft animals (as oxen) are joined at the heads or necks for working together b : an arched device formerly laid on the neck of a defeated person c : a frame fitted to a person's shoulders to carry a load in two equal portions d : a bar by which the end of the tongue of a wagon or carriage is suspended from the collars of the harness e (1) : a crosspiece on the head of a boat's rudder (2) : the control device for an airplane's ailerons that is mounted on a column which also serves to operate the elevator f : a frame from which a bell is hung g : a clamp or similar piece that embraces two parts to hold or unite them in position (emphasis added)

Well, that's the specific definition; you can see where I am going with this by the selections I put in bold. When the above mentioned scriptural reference was mentioned, followed by the question, "what exactly is His yoke?" my first thought was to question the meaning of the word itself. Observe below --

(Isn't that a lovely picture?) So there we have a yoke. It's a piece of wood, let's remember that the Savior often spoke using imagery and symbolism, but the references don't have to be as complex as we sometimes make them. He spoke of a yoke because his audience knew very well what it was, indeed they made good use of this effective tool. It is a piece of wood; it's purpose is to bind two animals together to make it easier for them to be directed and increase the work the team was able to perform. Aha! So, contrary to popular culture (Well, now, here I can't really say whether or not it's really a popular belief. Perhaps it is different for others, but it seems to be my experience that while this scripture is often quoted, it is always sort of referred to in tones of "well, of course everyone knows what it means," but nobody every actually tries to say what the yoke symbolizes; they just talk around it. What follows, however, seems to be a common theme of the understood definition of a yoke.) the yoke is NOT a burden. Consider it, perhaps at times the bindings seem slightly annoying and restrictive, but it's a piece of wood! To an ox, this is nothing; I can honestly say I've never been an ox, but I don't imagine that this small weight on its back could in anyway be considered a load that is difficult to carry. Restrictive, yes, but not heavy. I find that the scripture itself separates the burden from the yoke; the burden is the task that must be accomplished, while the yoke is the tool used to accomplish said task.

Huh hem, on to the point of all this (slightly) pointless rambling. What then does the yoke symbolize? What is it that "binds" us to Christ? The answer to this question came to my mind so clearly that I haven't been able to forget it. Covenants. That's the answer. The Lord's people are a covenant-making people indeed. Covenants bring us in line with God's way. Through making and keeping sacred covenants, we come closer to Christ. The burden is life and the challenges we face and must bear, the ultimate goal being eternal life. But we are not left to carry the burden alone. If we will permit ourselves to be bound to Christ (by our covenants), we don't have to pull the load ourselves. That doesn't leave us free to sit in the dirt; we must still walk, but we don't have the load ourselves as we would have otherwise. Without Christ it would be impossible. This post is already crazy long and I have so much homework to do, so I will have to save the elaboration of the covenants we make as we progress in the Lord's kingdom for another day, but I have already touched on this subject in a previous post (temple day). Important point to remember: The covenant in NOT the burden!

How does keeping our covenants give us rest even in this life? I think this is best answered by a prophet, President Ezra Taft Benson: "That man is greatest and most blessed and joyful whose life most closely approaches the pattern of the Christ. This has nothing to do with earthly wealth, power, or prestige. The only true test of greatness, blessedness, joyfulness is how close a life can come to being like the Master, Jesus Christ. He is the right way, the full truth, and the abundant life." Being like the Savior is happiness. And our covenants are the tool used to bind us to Him and His ways. Through becoming as He is, we find comfort and rest even in days when the burden is heaviest.

A few more side notes that will require more pondering: 1-Heb mentioned this to me as we were discussing this scripture. Note the double meaning of the word light. His burden is Light, not as in matters of weight, but in spiritual matters, but carrying the burdens of life, we can, if we are bound to Christ, learn and gain light. Cool. 2-A new thought on this passage came with the Miriam Webster definition when I copied it over. A yoke can also be worn by one person to carry two heavy objects (one on each side). The balance of the two weights makes each easier to bear. This requires some thought, but I think it could potentially have some good symbolism for our lives and how we cope with trials.

Finally, as any reader must have deduced, I have a passion for the hymns of Zion. I found it very appropriate that the last line of the second verse of our closing hymn for RS that day (Our Savior's Love) reads, "And we are bound to Him by loving ties." So much way cool stuff. I love it! It makes me want to be valiant!

The Day Dawn is Breaking

Yeah! The flag is flying high atop the pole today! :)

What kind of man gets to see God the Father in the flesh? This has been the prevailing thought on my mind over the last few days. Joseph Smith, prophet, seer, and revelator -- who was he? This year, the Church is celebrating its 175th anniversary and the 200th anniversary of the birth of the prophet Joseph. He seemed to be a common theme of General Conference talks last weekend. So this is my resolve: I will learn about the man who, save Jesus Christ only, has done more for the salvation of all mankind. What a title! It's amazing that after twenty years of hearing this name, I am finally going to take the time to know the man, especially when one considers that it is the first lesson taught to individuals investigating the church, but I suppose now is better than never. I will keep everyone updated with what I am learning; I can't wait.

Which brings me to another related topic. This is perhaps the reason that I have not achieved a conviction of the role of the prophet Joseph before this time. Whatever happened to the Lord not being a respecter of persons? How do I reconcile study of the life of Joseph Smith when there is "no other name given nor any other way nor means whereby salvation can come unto the children of men, only in and through the name of Christ, the Lord Omnipotent" (Mosiah 3:17)? Indeed, all men have agency; there is no job that the Lord cannot accomplish without me, or is there? Perhaps this undermines the deep belief some people have that they prayed about where to live, what to study, which classes to take, ad nauseam and they just know that they are in the "right" place. I scoff at these people; it's unkind and I shall try to be more tolerant, but these "testimonies" drive me nuts! I take a very pragmatic approach to life: get up every morning, pray and consecrate your performance unto the Lord, then go to life. Forget about your silly "right" place, "right” person etc. The number one commandment is to love God. Number two is to love your neighbor. Do that, and stop stressing! If you make a mistake, repent and strengthen your resolve to do better, then move on. The world will NOT come to an end just because I failed to accomplish some possible mission. I am not indispensable! So, back to the original point, is it idol worship of a sort to spend so much time praising just a man? I used to think so; then I listened to the prophet and learned differently.

What kind of man gets to see God the Father in the flesh? I don't know yet, but I intend to find out. It's about our choices, see. We decide every day if we will accomplish the Lord's work, but some of us made BIG choices before this life. Those choices don't force us to do anything, but we can allow them to dictate the course of our lives. This doesn't make very much sense, but I'm trying, believe me, I'm trying to both understand and explain it. So Joseph Smith made some seriously good choices (and is continuing to do so). Because of those choices he was able to restore to earth the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ, ushering in the dispensation of the fullness of times. Studying his life and praising his name is not idolatry, everything about this prophet leads one to Christ. Yes, he was just a man, but he was anointed by God, and he "communed with Jehovah." Praise to that man!

Help!

What can one do to soften one's heart?

On This Day of Joy and Gladness

That was the closing song for this afternoon's session of Conference. What a powerful day! I'll have so much to ponder and write about after this weekend, but this post is actually thoughts from yesterday.

This from the Kirtland Temple Dedicatory Prayer: "that thy work may be cut short in righteousness..." (D&C 109:59)

Cool! We can actually hasten the Lord's coming. So maybe this has been said a million times over by prophets and such, but I guess I never really digested it. That's pretty amazing. This lead me to think about the recent challenge from President Hinckley to have every member of the Church read the Book of Mormon again before the end of the year. What a way to raise the level of spirituality throughout the Church. Surely such activities as this help to cut short the time before the Lord returns in His glory. It's seems to Sunday-School-answer-ish, but I guess the way to hasten the Lord's coming is through prayer and scripture study and obedience to all God's commandments. If we could be so righteous as to rend the veil of unbelief from before us, we could all come, as did the brother of Jared, to cause that Jesus Christ would come to us. Wow! IF as a Church and as a people we would "lengthen our stride" so to speak, step up the perfecting of the Saints and missionary work, whoa, that would be cool. Still, we have no power over anyone but ourselves. So even if we can't encourage the entire would to hasten the Lord's coming (but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try), we can still cut short the time in our lives that we are distant from Him. We can cause that He will be with us individually by our righteousness. He is bound when we do as He commands (D&C 82:10), and as we increase our spirituality, He will come to us. Let's all hasten the time when "On this earth He comes again to rule among the sons of men." (I Believe in Christ, Hymns #134)